The stakeholder I missed (and how to avoid my mistake)

Hi there,

Here’s a mistake I made early in my career and how you can avoid it.

Years ago, I joined a nonprofit as an IT manager leading a small team.

We provided IT services to the rest of the organization: building small tools, supporting infrastructure, and working with external vendors. I assumed my main stakeholder was my direct manager. If I kept him happy and followed his priorities, things would be fine.

They were not.

We were months from year-end. I had a plan to upgrade infrastructure and bring in new partners. My manager supported it.

What I missed: finance essentially owned the budget process.

I had done nothing to build a relationship with them or preview what we would need. No early conversations, no context sharing, no warming them up to the size and shape of the budget.

By the time I presented the proposal, it was their first time seeing the full picture.

Result: partial approval. Some of the plan went through, some didn’t.

If I had involved them earlier, the number would not be a surprise. They would already know why this spend mattered and how it helped the organization.

I did not just miss a line item. I missed a stakeholder.

There was another group I underestimated: non-technical departments.

On paper, they were just internal customers. We owned the tools, they used them.

So I treated software choices as purely technical decisions.

In reality, those departments used the tools daily, had strong opinions about workflows, and could quietly resist our choices. They talked to finance, to leadership, and to each other.

They were not just consumers. They had power in the system.

Again, the mistake was relational, not technical. I ignored stakeholders who could shape or block my decisions.

Stakeholders are not just people with opinions. They can accelerate your work, slow you down, or block you completely.

As a new manager, your job in the first 90 days is to understand:

1. Who are my stakeholders?

2. What is my relationship with each?

3. Which ones do I need to win early?

Here is a simple 4-step process you can use.

Step 1: Identify your stakeholders

Make a list of people and teams who matter for your work. Look for:

- Who shows up in key meetings

- Whose name keeps coming up in conversations

- Who owns metrics your work affects

- Who uses what your team builds daily

- Who can say “no” and block you

Capture them all in one place. This is your first pass. It does not need to be perfect.

Step 2: Rate influence and relationship

For each stakeholder, rate two things:

1. Influence: how much can this person or team impact your work?

- Low / Medium / High

2. Current relationship: how good is it today?

- Strong support / neutral / some tension / don’t know yet

You can do this with simple labels or a 1–3 scale. The point is to see patterns, not be precise.

Use this simple priority guide:

- High influence + weak relationship → Top priority (build trust fast)

- High influence + strong relationship → Maintain (protect what you have)

- Low influence + weak relationship → Watch (lower priority)

- Low influence + strong relationship → Nice to have (don’t over-invest)

Step 3: Watch for red flags

As you talk to people in your first 90 days, note any warning signs. For example:

- They bypass you and go directly to your team

- They regularly drop “urgent” work on your team without notice

- They escalate issues without looping you in

- They speak negatively about your team’s reliability or quality

- They seem surprised by your team’s priorities or roadmap

Each of these hints at a relationship or expectations problem. Add a short note to your map. Do not ignore it and hope it fixes itself.

Step 4: Track your progress

Your stakeholder map is not a one-time document. It is a before-and-after snapshot.

Here is a simple way to use it:

- In your first month: capture the “as-is” picture. Who are the stakeholders? How strong are the relationships today?

- Over the next two months: have targeted 1:1s, clarify expectations, and look for small ways to help them succeed.

- After 90 days: update the same map. Which relationships improved? Which are still weak? Which new stakeholders have shown up?

This gives you a concrete way to show progress, not just “I had a lot of meetings.”

It also gives you a clear list of relationships to keep investing in over the next 6–12 months.

When you plan your first weeks, front-load stakeholder meetings.

Instead of spreading five stakeholder 1:1s across five weeks, do three or four in your first two weeks. You will spot patterns faster, understand the landscape sooner, and have more time left in your 90 days to act on what you learn.

Stakeholder mapping is less useful if it takes too long to complete.

Stakeholder map template

To make this easier, I created a simple stakeholder map template you can copy.

It helps you:

- List stakeholders in one place

- Rate influence and relationship

- Capture red flags and notes

- Compare your “first month” snapshot with where things stand later

Download it here: https://get.primetechteams.com/first90/stakeholder-map/

Use it in your first 90 days and hit reply to tell me what you learn.

Hit reply and tell me: What surprised you? What did you change?

If this was useful, forward it to a colleague who is starting a new role.

Hamid